Great Waste

If you have enough time to reflect on how much you think. You think too much.

i have not written in a long time.
i also write best when i have no time at all to write.
i'm being picked up in 45 minutes, so this is the perfect amount of time for me to write a lovely blog.

hello. as many of you have come to guess, we are all growing older.
for me, this is all happening in the span of about a month, give or take a month.
i got my G1 in the mail like 3 days ago. which is sick cus now i can drive.
i drove for the first time (legally) on a road the other week. (thanks laura!)
i applied for a credit card two days ago.
i plan to buy an IMac as soon as i get this credit card!
i got into Canadore College a few weeks ago, in North Bay.
next month i will have to get and PAY FOR my own cell phone. like.... through my credit card. thats why i originally am getting one.
i am working full time, 10 hours days. and obviously reaping the benefits bountifully!
and also, i hurt my finger really bad in a Freak wooden plank-dropping accident.
it's getting better though.

my drivers license looks ridiculous. the picture that is. why do they let people look so bad in pictures?! why not just give them a funny hat or something.

i built my own/first desk a couple days ago.
it's made out of two large speakers and a "Seniors Crossing Ahead" sign.
it's ghettoly-righteous.

random thought, why does R2-D2 EVER get shot?!
he has no significance what so ever!
"oh there's a robot with a round head, lets shoot it so it screams in animated, seemingly-painful, but not actually cus robots can't feel pain-pain.

i bought this game called Left For Dead 2 recently. it is a VERY GOOD GAME! buy it! immediately!
it was all good except for one thing: zombies don't run. in this game they do. i hate that. i'd prefer them to make it realistic. there was several points throughout the game that i thought to myself, "i wish these zombies weren't running."
like, seriously. i'm playing this game where you kill people for no reason, why does it have to be hard?! i would rather just walk through each level with my Katana or chainsaw and slice their heads off like a civilized person! not like some nerdy teenager who is trying to snipe these racing creatures with a shot gun (which is an exact description of how i feel).

so there is this thing called WEEGEE. kind of a trip:

i like him because he's green.

here's an edit hahaha



i love this xD

New Years

so some people start off their years with new years resolutions.... but today is not new years.
i want to make a few random resolutions. im not expecting pity and such. im just here, writing, because i see some things in myself that are very bad things to be doing.
here:
-talk less. some things i say are pointless, and quite frankly, stupid.
-speak louder. i mutter and stutter. this is due to a lack of confidence. i need to realize what i can offer people.
-stop swearing. it's quite childish and there really is no need. there is also a chance that it offends people, and i would rather not be that typical Offend random old ladies on the street, or teach children bad words- guy.
-some of my friends have major issues. i tend to listen to them and let them vent. i suggest (to myself) that i don't let this effect me. there's a difference between being there for someone and giving them advice, and getting involved and getting hurt just out of sympathy, or often Empathy.
-improve the way i treat people... or use people. and take advantage of them. it's wrong, and i need to be independent. i need a job, so i can support MYSELF!
-BUY PEOPLE STUFF! starting next year.... because i have no job... but i mean in reference to birthday and Christmas presents... it's not cool that i can receive them and not have the care to give them.. believe it or not i hate myself for it.
-stop being so cocky. i noticed today, whilst sleeping in class, that i am a fairly rude person... i noticed today that when a person that is standing in the hall says hi to me, i just say hey and keep walking.... don't people normally stop and talk for a minute or two? i mean, i'm not saying I'm doing a bad thing... but it starts there... the little things. if i stopped to talk to more people when i can, i think it would help with my being cocky.
-i'd like to be more of a people kind of guy. i have noticed that im not usually the person that people notice very well. maybe im not approachable. maybe i need to smile more, you know? stop crossing my arms all the time, not get so caught up in my appearance! it's hard though. i wish i had a solution.
-I'd like to be "a brand new man." have you ever been that? like you go to work, or go to school one day, and you're just totally different? that would be a nice change from my norm.
-I've been called many things in my life... such as "Mooch." of all the hateful words ever, that was the one i dislike the most. I have noticed all this in myself... i truly am a mooch... and i know it. it's one thing to change when you are aware that you do something, and you are aware that it is bad, but it's another to CATCH yourself in the act and stop yourself before you do. I sometimes wonder if i was spoiled as a child. if this is the reason that i rely on other people for my material needs. then i just think "no, it's because I'm lazy." it has nothing to do with anything else. example: i make people buy me lunch. today i made my good friend use her birthday money to buy me candy. how terrible is that! i mean, i know I'd like to buy it myself... but the truth is that i don't even need candy... i think it's just a self conscientious way of making myself noticed. i think i need people to buy me stuff so they will pay attention to me. you should know i would much rather buy these things myself! i think the best resolution for me from this point on would be to either buy myself these thing, not buy these things at all because i don't need them. i can also work on this by bringing a lunch. i mean, my mom tries to buy me stuff for lunches... why don't i take advantage of this! i need to start fending for myself. I'm going into the real world soon. it's scary.
so here it is. the new joel porteous. it will be hard, i may backslide, but if i believe in myself i think i can do it. i think i can be a better person. all i need is confidence in myself. confidence in God.

A French Weining Dash

Is there a way to chop off a person's ear without there being any blood involved?
Or hard feelings for that matter.

I recently got back from the states... big woop.
i learned a few things... Apple Jacks are still out there AND thriving, there is such a thing as Friendlies Restaurant... and it is heavenly... we ate there three of the five nights we stayed.
oh, and also that Wal Mart is a strange and different place...
Wal Mart has a thing called a Guitar Hero Arcade game... in their Arcade Game section...

i tried Taco Bell over there too... oh my goodness, i think i wet myself.

have you (the reader) ever been excused to go to the bathroom from class to blow your nose because there are no tissues in the classroom?
*i just thought i could smell that awe full place... please excuse me as i regain my thoughts*
and you get to the rest room and all you can use is nasty toilet paper. it's bad enough you have to put your face in stuff that is not meant to touch a face... but whats worse is that it smells like it is recycled fish. Every time i do it makes me feel like the bottom of the nose-blowing foot chain.

OMG it's true ! there is a way to chop off a man's ear... it is it infected and hanging on by a thread of skin.... and you somehow brushed up against it... or pulled it off (as a friend)... then he wouldn't be mad! in fact i think the person would be thankful!
it's the same situation as when a FATHER pulls out his son's or daughter's TOOTH!
(the one thing i am not looking forward to with regards to fatherhood).

it's strange that when people walk by your classroom at school they always seem compelled to look inside... at me... who is inevitably ALWAYS looking back at them. i usually find myself gazing into classes myself as i walk by.

ok what is with all these pathetic facebook and msn status'? they are retarded!
"The silence was our love, then i looked down to my hands and saw your blood."
What?! that's ridiculous!
it's like saying:
"our moment was forever, then i killed you."
that's all!
he's a good one, someone has this as her status:
"remembering...when we were young...and how life was easy..."
wow, she's 18. get a life !

"LOVES MY MEN SO MUCH."
... she must have had a typo.

here's one from someone else:
"And i dont want the world to see me, because i dont think that they would understand when everything made to be broken i just want you to know who I am"
she's 16...
people are pathetic.

Bargain Attick

so your driving down the road. it's diverse with fog. you flicker your lights from high to low, in search of a clearer future. the fog is dense, without blemish. at last there is a clearing about fifty feet long. you enter. there is a deer near the end of the fog-clearing, ready to cross the road. as you approach the deer seems confused, naturally you slow your speed. the deer darts across the road, leaving you to swerve to barely miss it.
the passenger in your car is a vigilante of sorts. he has no time for sore games. at first glance of the menace he darts for the power window switch. the power is not strong enough, the window recedes into the door TOO SLOWLY! he climbs onto the window like some sort of circus monkey. at last it is withdrawn. the deer is near, he leans out the window with one arm on the door handle and one hand waving in the air like a flag at a car dealership. as the deer is in sight the passenger lines up his hand for the kill. at last, contact has been made, the man smacked the deer right across the face with no sign of remorse... only to speed off in his car with three simple words, "Don't Be Stupid."

the life of an OCD ridden, nympho maniac.
i lied i have no idea what nympho maniac means.

1. hey, your in a clean room... there's a cardboard box spread out on the floor... nothing around it... you HAVE TO STAND ON IT. or your life will NOT progress..

2. you just scratched your right eye... no, you have to make them EQUAL! SCRATCH THE LLLLLEEEFFFFTT ONE TOO!

3. un-cracked fingers? not if I can help it. (or know there is a possibility that they can be cracked)

4. "iunno" is not a word. please type it out, "I don't know."

5. try leaving a tiny keyboard in the middle of MY floor for a week,... and SEE if it doesn't have the perfectly sized spot somewhere in my room by the end of it.

6. no matter how full, dishwashers should pretty much always be running, whether full of dishes or not. and if the dishwasher has been running for so long that it will not completely clean the recently dirtied dish in your hand, then you have to wash it by hand and put it away... a clean kitchen is a healthy kitchen.

7. i would be the best person to lay tile in someone's shower... everyone i see is not completely square to the parallel tile... it drives me nuts.

8. if im at a friends house and im staying there for a while... may the records show that there will be NO dirty dishes in that sink by the time i leave.

9. being a hard worker and a perfectionist... every person i've ever done house work or extracuricular work for is ALWAYS happy to be a very good reference for future employment.

10. physically, i can not bring myself to let my toe-, or finger-nails grow long... its un natural.

11. shovelling snow takes twice as long for me... i'll just leave it at that... all corners must be completely square, 90 degree angles.

12. i dont know how to spell attic... atic... attick... atick...

13. i used to say ever word with an "uh" sound at the end of it. while counting down to myself i'd say. " three, two, one, UH." as if the UH meant zero or something... its bazarre i know...

14. there's no way in hell im ever going to just toss my socks aimlessly into a sock droor... no, they need to be FOLDED.

15. lately my OCD has bee getting worst... i can't keep text messages... i always delete them after i get 'um... i can't stand a full message box.

16. you know the "Recycling Box" on the desktop of the computer? if i delete a picture or something i automatically go and "Empty Recycling." not because im affraid of being followed... but because i don't like it taking up space. same with adds on facebook where they have the little "X" to close them, i always do. same with "people you may know" on facebook. mine is always empty, i cant stand it... if your confused talk to me in person and ill show you...

17. i will sit completely still for dozens of minutes. and when i do, i wait. i feel a tingly feeling on my leg and i think "HEY, ITS A BUG!" so i investigate... turns out its just my hair... i really really hate leg hair.

18. i lay awake at night listening for mosquitoes... and when i hear one i dont sleep till it's dead. if im too sleepy to care, i'll spray bug spray all over myself before beg, all over the walls, and DEFINATELY around the threshold of my room.

19. i like to say "you bet your sweet bippy."

20. perfect hair is an understatement... the world would be a better place if hair was non-existant.