A French Weining Dash

Is there a way to chop off a person's ear without there being any blood involved?
Or hard feelings for that matter.

I recently got back from the states... big woop.
i learned a few things... Apple Jacks are still out there AND thriving, there is such a thing as Friendlies Restaurant... and it is heavenly... we ate there three of the five nights we stayed.
oh, and also that Wal Mart is a strange and different place...
Wal Mart has a thing called a Guitar Hero Arcade game... in their Arcade Game section...

i tried Taco Bell over there too... oh my goodness, i think i wet myself.

have you (the reader) ever been excused to go to the bathroom from class to blow your nose because there are no tissues in the classroom?
*i just thought i could smell that awe full place... please excuse me as i regain my thoughts*
and you get to the rest room and all you can use is nasty toilet paper. it's bad enough you have to put your face in stuff that is not meant to touch a face... but whats worse is that it smells like it is recycled fish. Every time i do it makes me feel like the bottom of the nose-blowing foot chain.

OMG it's true ! there is a way to chop off a man's ear... it is it infected and hanging on by a thread of skin.... and you somehow brushed up against it... or pulled it off (as a friend)... then he wouldn't be mad! in fact i think the person would be thankful!
it's the same situation as when a FATHER pulls out his son's or daughter's TOOTH!
(the one thing i am not looking forward to with regards to fatherhood).

it's strange that when people walk by your classroom at school they always seem compelled to look inside... at me... who is inevitably ALWAYS looking back at them. i usually find myself gazing into classes myself as i walk by.

ok what is with all these pathetic facebook and msn status'? they are retarded!
"The silence was our love, then i looked down to my hands and saw your blood."
What?! that's ridiculous!
it's like saying:
"our moment was forever, then i killed you."
that's all!
he's a good one, someone has this as her status:
"remembering...when we were young...and how life was easy..."
wow, she's 18. get a life !

"LOVES MY MEN SO MUCH."
... she must have had a typo.

here's one from someone else:
"And i dont want the world to see me, because i dont think that they would understand when everything made to be broken i just want you to know who I am"
she's 16...
people are pathetic.

Bargain Attick

so your driving down the road. it's diverse with fog. you flicker your lights from high to low, in search of a clearer future. the fog is dense, without blemish. at last there is a clearing about fifty feet long. you enter. there is a deer near the end of the fog-clearing, ready to cross the road. as you approach the deer seems confused, naturally you slow your speed. the deer darts across the road, leaving you to swerve to barely miss it.
the passenger in your car is a vigilante of sorts. he has no time for sore games. at first glance of the menace he darts for the power window switch. the power is not strong enough, the window recedes into the door TOO SLOWLY! he climbs onto the window like some sort of circus monkey. at last it is withdrawn. the deer is near, he leans out the window with one arm on the door handle and one hand waving in the air like a flag at a car dealership. as the deer is in sight the passenger lines up his hand for the kill. at last, contact has been made, the man smacked the deer right across the face with no sign of remorse... only to speed off in his car with three simple words, "Don't Be Stupid."

the life of an OCD ridden, nympho maniac.
i lied i have no idea what nympho maniac means.

1. hey, your in a clean room... there's a cardboard box spread out on the floor... nothing around it... you HAVE TO STAND ON IT. or your life will NOT progress..

2. you just scratched your right eye... no, you have to make them EQUAL! SCRATCH THE LLLLLEEEFFFFTT ONE TOO!

3. un-cracked fingers? not if I can help it. (or know there is a possibility that they can be cracked)

4. "iunno" is not a word. please type it out, "I don't know."

5. try leaving a tiny keyboard in the middle of MY floor for a week,... and SEE if it doesn't have the perfectly sized spot somewhere in my room by the end of it.

6. no matter how full, dishwashers should pretty much always be running, whether full of dishes or not. and if the dishwasher has been running for so long that it will not completely clean the recently dirtied dish in your hand, then you have to wash it by hand and put it away... a clean kitchen is a healthy kitchen.

7. i would be the best person to lay tile in someone's shower... everyone i see is not completely square to the parallel tile... it drives me nuts.

8. if im at a friends house and im staying there for a while... may the records show that there will be NO dirty dishes in that sink by the time i leave.

9. being a hard worker and a perfectionist... every person i've ever done house work or extracuricular work for is ALWAYS happy to be a very good reference for future employment.

10. physically, i can not bring myself to let my toe-, or finger-nails grow long... its un natural.

11. shovelling snow takes twice as long for me... i'll just leave it at that... all corners must be completely square, 90 degree angles.

12. i dont know how to spell attic... atic... attick... atick...

13. i used to say ever word with an "uh" sound at the end of it. while counting down to myself i'd say. " three, two, one, UH." as if the UH meant zero or something... its bazarre i know...

14. there's no way in hell im ever going to just toss my socks aimlessly into a sock droor... no, they need to be FOLDED.

15. lately my OCD has bee getting worst... i can't keep text messages... i always delete them after i get 'um... i can't stand a full message box.

16. you know the "Recycling Box" on the desktop of the computer? if i delete a picture or something i automatically go and "Empty Recycling." not because im affraid of being followed... but because i don't like it taking up space. same with adds on facebook where they have the little "X" to close them, i always do. same with "people you may know" on facebook. mine is always empty, i cant stand it... if your confused talk to me in person and ill show you...

17. i will sit completely still for dozens of minutes. and when i do, i wait. i feel a tingly feeling on my leg and i think "HEY, ITS A BUG!" so i investigate... turns out its just my hair... i really really hate leg hair.

18. i lay awake at night listening for mosquitoes... and when i hear one i dont sleep till it's dead. if im too sleepy to care, i'll spray bug spray all over myself before beg, all over the walls, and DEFINATELY around the threshold of my room.

19. i like to say "you bet your sweet bippy."

20. perfect hair is an understatement... the world would be a better place if hair was non-existant.

group unfinished

why did milk used to get delivered to homes?
it doesnt make any sense !

when i sniffle my right eye vibrates

do you know what "As it were" means?
this is what the internet has to say:
“As it were”—a curious, parenthetic phrase. As if it were so. A phrase used “to indicate that a word or statement is perhaps not formally exact though practically right." The mood is subjunctive. One would say it, if only he could mean it.

which does not make sense... i am going to ask both my english teachers through the course of today... and we will see what THEY have to say about it.

Paid In Bull

wow i forgot about this site !
i have been good yourself?
ok here's whats new in my life:
-i dyed my hair 3 times, it's blond now.
-my mother has stopped forcing me to go to church with her.
-i am applying at Tim Hortons. in the next week. because i need money THAT BADLY.
-school is soon. not really.
-my sister is engaged, i am now in both my sister's and my brother's wedding's next year.
-Belle and Sebastian is the greatest band ever.
-Foxy Shazam is pretty good too.
-i have like 3 new pen pals.
-i'm the 66th most liked person on my yearbook. in ontario. because of my good looks.
-there is a time for cereal... every...time. second.
-i want to go to uni for journalism... not television broadcasting... because that is a better program... hopefully it will help me become a television show writer... better.
-nail polish helped me improve in my bass skills.
-i got 71% in summer school... and skipped 4 assignments.
-my dog pooped on my N64 controller this morning.
-someone stole my Mario Kart game.
-im still the best at Super Smash Bros 64.
-and i dont like vitamin water.

what if every nail in the world turned into a worm..
strange.
i could imagine being in the bath tub, and the house falls apart.
strange.
the only thing i would worry about is not that my house is falling apart... but that i need to grab a towel before i hit the ground.
this is why i keep a towel close to the tub while i bathe.

imagine being a blind unicorn. you would end up stabbing stuff and getting stuck..
what's worse you ask? being blind AROUND a blind unicorn- that's what's worse.

i need $1200 for a bass amp and 2 peddles... if anyone can help please tell me... i will literally do anything. ill clean a basement, eat a small dog, weld a large statue of a man tying his shoes... anything.

never heard of it.
the Hangover is the best movie ever. same with G.I.Joe.