Two Hours Later

alright my health is gone. i have been plucking and slapping on my bass for about two hours and my index finger is COMPLETELY purple and bruised and blistered... this is not good
music comes with a cost eh?
and i guess talent comes with a cost too
my bass teacher told meit takes 10 000 hours to get REALLY good. like professional like:
-victor wooton
-stu hamm
-jaco pastouies
-stanley clarke
-and some other person whose name i cant read :)

who invented the phrase "hit the sack"
what does that mean!
did this person have a tendancy to train before bed? what?
"im gunna hit the sack, then hit the hay"
who hits hay?!
especially if no one knows if there's a needle in said hay stack

my family is french and english.
we all love olives... i dont know if that matters... but its true.
we eat at least a massive jar of olives EVERY holiday.
everyone loves them. it's rediculous!
if you dont like olives your not in my family!
i put them in spaghetti... instead of meatballs. deeeeoooommmmmmmn good!

to day i and two people forgot the name of ROGER ****** from QUEEN!!!! :O:O:O
I KNOW!! STUPID!!!
i suggested roger deacon (idiot)
matt said Roger Waters...? ok
allison said nothing... i cant remember... i was foolish earlier today haha stupid memory!

i dont know who... someone amazing!
bought corn bran today!!!!!!!
best cereal EVER!!!
it always cuts my mouth SOmuch though... thus i eat it soggy..

supertramp came on as i was turning on my laptop... thought i should mention that...
Dreamer was the song...
redefined the way i look at the past... five minutes of my life.

Demon Freezing

so about five seconds ago my penny jar exploded... dont even ask me how!pennies everywhere... glass in my candy jar, my room is now a wreck.i just wrote a story! took like an hour...

We Are What Our Mothers Say We Are

By Joel Porteous

“I don’t want to,” explained Egburt.“You have to!” his mother said, grinning as she tried to hide her smirk. “Do you understand how embarrassing this is?”“You will survive, it’s only a hair cut,” his mother reassured him.

The next day while the elevator door opened, Egburt was stopped by a very disgruntled boss.

“This is unacceptable! That hair cut is utterly inappropriate for this kind of work! Good thing you still live at home, because I’m calling your mother!” “Good luck with that, she’s the one that picked it out” he said with a look of disappointment on his face.

Ever since Egburt could remember he was being controller by his mother. She would always tell him that since his dad was gone, and still at war, he would have to be the man of the house. What Egburt didn’t realize at the time is that when your mother says you are the man of the house, this means you are the property of hers forever! And she is going to make you completely and utterly dependant on her. His mother got him a job at the town bank as an accountant to bring in money for the two of them, meanwhile she spent most of it gambling, going to spas, and hitting on other men. Egburt didn’t mind, after all, this is what he was raised to do.

One day after the weekly day of shopping for shoes, tuxes, and hair jelly, Egburt’s mother decided that he needed a hair cut. Though strongly disagreeing with this impulsive whim, Egburt had no choice but to get the hair cut that he never thought he would own. She dropped him off, paid the dresser, wrote down what she wanted his hair to look like, and took off for the nearest mall. Though profusely trying to see what was written down on the card, and trying to look in the mirror as the dresser cut his locks, Egburt had no say in the matter, what mommy wants, mommy gets. So he sits, and he waits. Sweat is slowly dripping down his face as he anticipates the fruit of this unruly lady who hold the key to his professionalism in her soft and abrasive hands.

She is done, the hair feels light and he can see his hair streaming down his face. He had always combed it back into a ponytail with hopes of one day letting the beast run wild, shaking his majestically silky hair to the nations as he wanted to become the bass player for the almighty southern rock group: The Avengers. Of course this was a silly and unmentionably unlikely dream… or so he thought.

His mother returned, bags in hand, hair messed up from running, breathing heavily as she stared right into Egburt’s left eye (seeing as how his right eye was covered in hair). She threw the bags, ran over to him, and held his face in her sweaty, wrinkly old hands.

“You’re perfect!” she proclaimed in an oddly declarative manner. “What are you talking about? Let me see my hair.” He said nervously, not knowing what to think. Was it bad? Was it good? Is it what I want or what she wants? Do I have the same good looks? Does it cover too much of my face? What about my Southern Rock dream?

None of that mattered now; the moment of truth has come upon them. The hair dresser goes into the closet to get a mirror. Her steps seemed endless with suspense and shear horror at thought of looking in the mirror and seeing some kind of punk staring back at him. The time has come; she holds the mirror backwards, slowly turns it around. Egburt leans into the direction of the turning mirror, almost as to try and see himself before his mother is in the frame with him. It stops, he can’t speak, it’s emo.

This was his worst nightmare, emo hair. His mother seems ecstatic! He stands there with his mouth swung open; he looks at himself, looks at his mother, looks at himself, looks at his mother, turns around and walks out the door. This is the first time since kindergarten when he decided to burn a hole in the wallpaper of his bedroom that he has dared to defy the breathless, abstract, and vigorously rigorous hold of his mother.
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it's and english project... i dont write for fun! besides this... even though writing it was fun... whatever!
flip! law test tomorrow! i am blogging instead of studying... this is not good... i also have to do some stupid story answer sheet for some stupid story we read in english... this sucksoh well i have my health right?!

Suing The Dueds

becuase of the sheer brilliance of Queen i am changing my name to John a naming my first born son Faruhk Balsaur.

how many times has Harringtons had a sale>?

oooo give me a GOOD guitar!

so thursday night (if anyone reads these) is now (and always has been) The Office night.... so come on down to the Drop-In center at like.,... seven! and we'll have a big ole bash

ohhhh just find me an old guitarr

so i got my new bass and it's wicked! it's just supposed to hold me over till i have enough to purchase the Takamine eg514fgh or whatever it is....

my brother's buck and doe thing was like a week ago... and it was pretty righteous, i won like three things... an ipod dock, and a bunch of candles and fountains.... so

i have encountered a new phrase:
"ah the things you see when you don't have a camera"
and its totally true! i always see things and say "oo i wish i had a camera" and 97% of the time i don't

every time i go swimming i end up cold afterwards... even in the summer.
what if i went in the winter? like a polar dipper or whatever their called... that is a pretty good experiment eh? i'd probably die... or be super warm..?

i have recently been introduced, by an undisclosed source (my grandpa), to old man clothing. i purchased two old man/dress coats from value village over the weekend, and i ammm basking in their glory...
oh old people, with your witty and overly used combacks, and your impectuous sense of style. i also intend to buy some thick-knitted sweaters... maybe one with some golfers on it... or a bunny

there is a 0 in 30 chance you will ever see me dust. it's not a chore that i favor... i havent done it in years... come to my room you'll see... bits of me everywhere HAHA pun

i also dont like brushing the backs of my teeth... they are just to far back there... im dreading the day i get wisdom teeth... that will be an adventure that will go into the... story books.

i painted my room today. with my M'Lady, to celebrate our 2 MONTH!! :O
feels like yesterday i w...
i know what you're thinking... "that is awfully lame"
but no. it's not.
we are going out to dinner tomorrow... *Bates permitting :)

don't use sponges to paint with...

Nintendo is JUST oldschool enough to be cool...
the grafics are SWEET (when on a small screen) and it STILL USES CARTRIDGES!!!!!!!!!!! amazing

i bought some new games from my past... ROAD RASH!!! best game ever!!! and the thing is... i think i bought the same cartridge i sold the pawn shop like 5 years ago heh heh


*Bates is our communications teacher... he may make us film on our music video...

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so about five (5) minutes ago i was thinking about comma's,,, aren't they useful. anyways im getting off topic. what is a comma Splice??
im serious i kind of have an erge to know.

Flipping Chimping

OK so you know how air conditioning makes you not hot?
well do i have a fact for you:
legs don't need air conditioning! :O
you have like no feeling in your legs! that is why most war veterans lose their legs in combat, because they simply don't notice!
and it is also a proven fact that stoners like to wear shorts. because they stand out in the cold so much you would think they wear jeans or at least some spandex, but nope. they wear shorts because they have no feelings

do you (the listener) ever buy things of products out of a vending machine?
or maybe play a simple arcade game!
isn't there just the biggest deal of suspense ever!
at the vending machines at my school there is NO certainty that you will actually receive the product you have purchased.
that is indefinitely because of the total URBAN quality of our vendor's.
THE CANDY ALWAYS GETS STUCK!
i have conducted recent experiments...
i have tested the dispensing characteristics of THREE different candies over the course of a month. sure this is a costly venture... but it was worth it for my viewers :')
these are tham:
skittles (original flavors)
fun dip (also original)
sour cherry blasters (good kind)
...
fun dip was. . . the only one that got stuck throughout the course of the month... so...
if you want to buy fun dip... GO TO A TUCK SHOP!

remember when the tuck shop at a baseball game was the only place you could get candy with the money you took from your moms wallet, because parents didn't believe candy was good for you?
maybe it's just me :S

Future Ideas:
make healthy candy
re-invent the wheel
that is all

oh my way, no my goodness, oh my goodness, no way

would it suck if you were a super hero and your arch enemy is a family member?
it would be ok if it was in your extended family... or a cousin...
but what if it was your mom... or a close uncle?!
it would be so awkward on Christmas! cus you'd be poisoning each others food... and then your evil-uncle's wife takes a bite of his potatoes (no pun intended) and she suddenly dies!
then your mom found out it was you and you get spanked (age of super hero may vary)

isn't it totally true that you can tell a lot about people by what their favorite color is?
if they like yellow that means they are happy... and they probably had a good childhood.
if they like blue then they are weird and should be shunned from most groups of people due to clashing apparel
if they like green they are not from the city and could probably lift you, and your grandma. at the same time
if they like Grey they are most certainly boring and have a lot of secret friends in Africa
if they like brown then.. well..
if they like white they are lame and should be forced into a time machine to early Egypt to be enslaved by the Inca's
and finally, if they like black they are cool and should be friends with everyone, as well as given gifts wherever they walk (otherwise they will turn emo

there are a lot of bad bathrooms I've been in...
kelly's in simcoe
blockbuster in simcoe
swiss chalet in simcoe...
A&P in simcoe (eww)
but there are NONE that will EVER match up to the bathroom in the Fortino's in Burlington! OH MY GOODNESS!
that is just the lowest of lows.
I'm pretty sure i visited the day before the weekly cleaning of that Zest Pit!

put your hand up if you hate food that makes your face itch!
for me the dirty vicsons include:
bananas (my lip)
lasagna (jaw bone)
cherry, plum, peach, grapes, and pineapple (my throat)
peanuts (nothing, i just don't like them at all)

T_T "git the tropical feelings"