When I got the table home, I set Mose to work assembling it. He completed the assembly in just under three minutes. I remember Mose making a similar table out of forest lumber when he was seven – as a joke.
While we all laughed heartily then, except for Mose who was shunned for a week for participating in humor, nobody at Schrute Farms was laughing this time.
Mose cried when he finished the construction. I don’t know if it was because of the poor materials and ridiculous tool he had to use or the memory of his long-forgotten forest lumber joke, but either way there were tears running down his bearded face and it breaks my heart to see that.
It equally breaks my heart to have a piece of furniture in my home that is made of such a quality as that Swedish bedside table.
I smashed that table to pieces immediately. I couldn’t stand looking at it for one more second. From that day forward, I swore that I would never allow another piece of second-rate Swedish furniture into my home ever again.
Anything that makes Mose cry will henceforth be banished from Schrute Farms. Do not trifle with a Schrute. Ever.
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